Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
