It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
