Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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