oh god was she eating orange peels again
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
