you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
