Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
