Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
