Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
