porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
