i think my tv is drunk
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
