This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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