I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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