YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
