separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
