yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
