Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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