this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
