Define "chronic" masturbator.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I look better un-naked...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
