You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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