So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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