If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
either way he was missing a nipple.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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