Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
