She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
