my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
