i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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