its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
