my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
