I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
