You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
