dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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