How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
