You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
