My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
