Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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