he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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