Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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