I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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