yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
