someone owes me an orgasm
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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