I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I need to stop coming to work sober
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
