just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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