Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Shame is for Republicans.
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