i permit you to call me
Is it because I queefed?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
