guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
