He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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