sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
