haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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