she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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