so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
