Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
