the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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