I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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