SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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