Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
is it fun? or sober?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
