Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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