Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
